“Jealousy isn’t a female trait. Jealousy is an insecure trait. Insecurity doesn’t discriminate”
In a long distance relationship it is normal to feel insecure at times. All of us long distance couples have been through it. Especially at the start. So I want to share some tricks that I learnt that could help your long distance relationships.
Its good to organise times to call. It helps you get a rhythm in the relationship and begins the discussion about what you both expect. As men tend to think texting and one call a week is enough. 😏
Nuha and I change our plan continually as life gets in the way, but we made some strict rules like always calling each other everyday.
Life does get in the way so informing your other half when and where you are going helps. It may seem overboard but you have to remember your relationship is not normal. Informing each other also stops you jumping to conclusions why he did not pick up. Having an open dialogue is key in long distance, as your emotions will be hightened.
The first year and a bit we did this. Told each other where we were going, when and with who. It helped a lot as he got to understand my routine and also who I generally hung out with. This built trust.
Taking photos when out just for your partner is also important. They are not there with you, so not only are you helping there insecurities but you are allowing them to see your life back home.
Nuha and i do this all the time either to let each other know who we are with or where we are going. I enjoy doing it as makes it feel like he is here with me.
4. Voice/video calls
Being open to calls also helps. What i mean by this is answering calls anywhere even unscheduled . Look there will be times when you are going to be unable to answer you just need to communicate this with your partner with a text before hand. Over time you will build trust and will not have to do this but for the biggining it helps.
Video calls are extra important. This can be used instead of sending a picture. As these show the here and now. It allows your partner feel more comfortable but also meet your friends and family.
Ill pick up Nuha calls everywhere as i have internet everywhere but there are times where ill be at basketball or soccer. I usually text before hand but after a while he has learnt my schedule so no longer need to let him know and vise versa.
5. Meet friends and family
Meeting the people in your partners life helps by making you feel important in that persons life which then helps your insecurities. This you can do on video chats or calls (I prefer video). I also try to meet them on my trips to Nuha.
I have met most of Nuhas friends and family now I feel closer to him.
6. Trust your gut when talking to friends and family
Look you are going to find some of your friends and family will be against your relationship and if you are close to them there opinions will effect you. They will bring doubt and may even cause arguments in your relationship. You have to remember even though they may have good intentions they do not know your relationship. So be careful.
There have been many instances where friends have been quite judgemental of my relationship and caused some doubt. Same with Nuha. This sometimes caused fights but by trusting each other we were able to overcome it.
7. Gps tracker (den den den!)
If desperate you can always get a tracker on your phone. There are so many different apps but you could also use maps. I do not recomend this though as you should trust your partner but if you are a little nervous doing it for period can help. If you do this i think it is better if you both know about it.
Ill admit we did do this but we did not use it much it was more nice having it… we also used it for like a month.
8. Look after you
This is important as insecurities are usually caused by you feeling insecure of yourself. Even though you love that person to bits do not lose yourself. Do things you enjoy, fill your life with activities. If they are acting crazy give them space. Make sure you have a life that does not just revolve around your partner.
I have soccer, basketball, work, study and catch up with friends. My life is full of stuff. I do have times where my life feels over taken by nuha and it does not help our relationship. Luckily for me i have a good friend who smacks some sense into me. They fell in love with you so do not lose yourself.
9. No secrets
You cannot have secrets you need to be an open book as long distance is scary and those secrets if discovered will break your relationship.
Nuha and I do not have secrets (I hope). We are stronger for it and i think its one of the things you learn when you go long distance.
In a long distance relationship it is important to trust your partner these tricks are to help build that trust. It should not be a perminant solution and it should be communicated. Do not be pushy and force your partner to follow the above it needs to be a team decision.
Hope you enjoyed this article. If you think I missed anything or what I’ve said is crazy please comment. I am also curious to hear your experiences or tricks you have used to overcome your insecurities.
Leap Love Wonder
Due to people liking this post. I was asked to do a pod cast see below links
#blog #longdistancesucks #longdistancerelationship #havearead #love #ldr #insecurities #tricks #youcandoit #acrosstheworld #oceansapart #austriatoaustralia #gambian #australian #african #leaplovewonder #lovingfromadistance