“Distance is just a test of how far love can travel.” – Unknown
Finally it is time to talk long distance. I have been in a long distance relationship for the past 2 years. Deciding to go long distance was scary, but I only had three choices either move to austria, break up 😭 or go long distance. I did not know anyone that was in a successful long distance relationship but I wanted to take the risk. Long distance is difficult and scary but not impossible. In this post i want to share with you 9 things i would have love to known before starting long distance.
Long distance is not going to be easy. This you would already know, but as my fiance says ‘Nothing worth fighting for ever comes easy.’ As a couple you will have many ups and downs which is normal but at a distance it’s worse.
Nuha and I had many fights at the beginning as it was hard adjusting to the distance. No contact, just talking over the phone. The worse thing was if Nuha or i wanted to check out of a conversation we could just turn off our phones which made things so much worse.
2. You will be overly emotional
Your emotions will go crazy. You will be sad, frustrated, numb, insecure and doubt your decisions all in a short amount of time. Do not worry you will get through it. It slowly passes as you get a rhythm.
My first 3 months I was crazy.. it was like I was bi-polar. One second I would be OK the next I’d be overly emotional. It was so hard. Now that I have done long distance for 2 years I have adjusted, but after a visit I still can get overly emotional. I usually cry on the way home after visiting.
Trust is super important in a long distance relationship, but its not easy. You are going to doubt your relationship, worry about him cheating and vice versa. This is completely normal in a long distance relationship. As you cannot see them or what they are doing when you are not around. Do not fret. I am happy to report that there have been studies proving that no matter if you are in a long distance or a normal relationship the chances of cheating are the same. As studies show the reason people cheat was not due to opportunity but whether they are satisfactisfied in their relationship.
This was hard for me. At first I was super worried about Nuha betraying me and it did not help our relationship. It was nothing he did, the distance just scared me. To overcome this we communicated and made a plan that worked for both of us. Nuha and I trust each other fully now but we occasionally have moments of insecurity which is normal.
4. Friends and family.
Some of your friends and family will not approve. They may not tell you but you can feel it. You are not crazy. They are worried for you, so do not be hard on them. We are taught that long distance does not work, they do not know how strongly you feel for each other or how the internet has revolutionised long distance. In these circumstances you need to ignore them and listen to your gut. You will know if your relationship is working or not.
So many disagreed with my relationship. I still get comments here and there about long distance does not work. Do not let them interfere with your relationship. They do not know you or him and it just causes unwanted problems.
5. Test of your relationship/ Communication
Long distance is the biggest test on your relationship. I believe long distance makes your relationship stronger as you are forced to communicate and work together to get through it.
Nuha struggles sharing but after going long distance he was forced to share. Now we are so much closer
Long distance is expensive. Traveling back and forth, sending gifts and just general expenses. My fiance lives on the opposite side of the world so it always costs me a grand at least to visit each time. If you are considering a visa get ready for the price tag (ouch). It is surprising how expensive long distance is.
7. You need to be Flexible and organised
You need to be semi flexible as you need to visit every once and awhile. Which means taking time off work. 4 weeks does not go far when your man is on the opposite side of the world. Time zones also requires you to be flexible. Depending where they are, you need to make time for calls and be flexible as life can get in the way.
My friend now does casual work due to her long distance relationship as it was too hard due to the limited leave. Whereas I waited a year the first time (yes I am crazy) the second & 3rd time I waited 8 months. My leave is gone and i have had to take time without pay.
8. Every relationship is different
I am going to talk a lot about what I do for my relationship but you need to remember all relationships are different long distance or not. So do not compare your relationship to mine completely. Everyone is different which means we also have different relationships.
For example I lived with my man for 8 months before committing to long distance. Whereas my friend went on one date and became long distance. They are now happily married. Her and my relationship are completely different in other ways too. Does not mean anything. As everyone is different and love works in mysterious ways.
9. No regrets
A LDR is not easy, but you will not regret it. The times I have shared with Nuha over the phone I would not trade for a normal relationship with someone else. He makes me laugh and even though we are not together we have so many fun moments. Long distance does work if you both work at it.
I hope this post helps you and makes you feel more ready for your new exciting long distance relationship.
Please feel free to comment, follow and like. And if you are in a long distance relationship what do you think I missed?
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